There’s something that I’ve been holding in my chest ever since I was a little girl. Something that only kept getting bigger with time. Unfortunately, as much as I wanted to share it with someone to reduce the burden, I couldn’t. Because I was ashamed. I was afraid. Because we live in a society where people constantly judge one another. They say time heals everything but it has been 9 years and time has done nothing. I am helpless, I feel worthless not being able to do anything about it.
In the process of falling apart, staying strong, shedding a few tears, being angry, sad, I found someone to share my pain with, whom I trust and love. However, life is uncertain; sometimes unfair. One moment your life seems perfect and the next moment everything falls apart. I’m not an average 19 year old, because I learned to deal with pain and heartbreaks even before I fell in love. I learned to let go of people before I truly understood the meaning of love. Love is like a candle; it flickers and with time it slowly dims and then goes off completely. I realized people always say they are going to be there for you no matter what, but when the time comes for them to prove their loyalty, they vanish. Even the person that you’ll truly love and trust and share your deepest darkest secrets with without having the fear of losing them or being judged, will leave you, will stop loving you.
But that doesn’t mean you’ll stop loving. That doesn’t mean you’ll stop caring. You get what you give and your get what you deserve. So, when your heart breaks, when it’s too much for you to take, when you feel like giving up – cry, let your heart out, let the tears flow as much as they want to, for as long as they want to because that’ll only make you stronger and give you the courage to fight back, motivation to never give up and never stop loving and every teardrop that’ll roll down your cheeks will be a reminder that you’re alive, you’re strong and nothing can break you. Remember, crying does not mean you’re weak. So, sometimes it’s okay to cry.
I will forever be grateful to the person who was there for me when no one else was, who constantly supported me and helped me deal with certain issues, who motivated me to do better, be better and who made me believe in love. You know who you are.
I know sometimes it’s not easy for us to share our pain and sorrows with others, but please, try and reach out to people. And as long as you’re being able to cry, trust me, you’re fine.